Single

Log off every program, before you leave your computer. Any person at that point can make you what they want you to be. People innocently change status updates while you have to explain to the world why your friends think it's funny to post (fill in the blank). This prank has happened to me more times than I would like to admit. Added on top of that my profile name was changed to Peter Fuglert (a bad mailing story) and various other idiosyncrasies.

For my first few years on facebook, I refused to place my relationship status. Not sure if I thought it private or if it could perhaps draw intrigue. Needless to say after one of these so called pranks, one of my friends changed the status for me. For fear of seeing see a news feed with a relationship change, I left the change.

Where does your mind go when you hear the word single? Some would say, the aspect that draws the most importance or focus. Other people might point a quantity less than double, more in the terms of food. I would venture to say most of our minds go to the encompassing status of relationships. Depending on your background certain stigmas coincide with this term. Some would see freedom and endless possibilities, while at times thoughts go to loneliness and seclusion.

This word might be the most intriguing challenge, struggle, and opportunity of my life. People have asked me more questions about this than any other subject. I have probably talked about this a lot also. At times this status serves as the white elephant in the room, but also the common bond of people who hurt.

Why am I writing about this? Quite honestly, this is embarrassing. In some of my deepest goals and expectations, I thought I would be farther along in the process. Either A) I would at least have a candidate to start going into further direction or B) I would be able to say that it really does not matter. Part of the lie of singleness is believing that you are all alone. As many friends that I have that are getting married and moving on in life, I have just as many who still feel the stigma of feeling "single." I don't feel like I have any profound answers, but I think talking about it this issue might bring healing and maybe I'm the one that needs it the most.

Good intentioned people ask about relationships, because they hope some day that a single person can experience a true authentic romance. On the flip side, asking only reinforces the loneliness a person all ready feels. Flattering that people would care so much about your well-being; painful to wonder why this area of life seems the most difficult to resolve. Then there comes the advice like, "it will happen when you're not looking for it" or "there's someone out there for you." Not to mention explanations on why you will not attempt to date someone and the temptation to settle.

This is something I'm dealing with in a variety of ways. Some days, I feel like I am unbelievably content where God has me. Some days, I would rather talk about the economy of Tibet than even hint at the subject. These next couple posts will deal with the lies, expectations, notions, optimism, God's sovereignty, pain, and everything that goes into "single." At this point I hope that people can connect to this whether you are single or you deal with single people. This is a start to clarity in my life and hopefully in the lives of others...